They say hindsight is 20/20, and I’m feeling that more than ever now that we’ve entered 2020 and along with it, a new decade. My boys are growing up, and alongside them, my business is growing up as well.
Coco Moon turns 5 this year (same age as my son), and thinking back to where I started this journey also has me reflecting back to those early days as a new mom.
I remember everything being so overwhelming, and I felt like a jumbled mess of emotions most of the time. I remember a lot of happiness, but also a lot of tears.
As someone who is very academic and cerebral, I poured myself into baby books, devouring the knowledge and determined to apply all that I learned. But when my baby boy was in my arms, everything I read felt awkward and hard to translate to real life. Unable to “adequately” apply what I’d read, I felt like a failure, already messing up the most basic mommy tasks.
I told a friend from India about the books I was reading and the frustration I was feeling. She was appalled. “You read about it in books?!” she asked. “In India, babies literally grow up in hands. You don’t read about it in books.”
But for all of the love and support I had from family and friends in real life, I wanted to believe that I could figure it out on my own, read about it and conquer the task at hand like I had in so many other areas of my life. But motherhood was a whole new game for me and I couldn’t approach it like I had things in the past. Eventually I let a lot go, and learned the way I should have from the beginning, by listening to my inner mama voice (and also listening to my mom - yes, that’s right, shout out to my mom, the most loving and selfless example of motherhood and now the best Yaya ever).
So if I could go back and give my new mama self some advice, at the top of the list would be this:
Put. Down. The baby books. Trust yourself and your instincts. Do what FEELS right for you. Have more fun with it all.
We asked some fellow moms to share a bit about what they remember from those days and what they might say to themselves if could they go back and offer some advice. Let us know what you think, and your favorite tips from your own journey. If you want even more, scroll to the bottom to read 10 tips of mom love from me to you.
Sending lots of aloha to all of the new mamas out there! Remember, as long as there’s love, there is no wrong.
Mom Love: 10 things I would tell my-new-mom-self if I could -
Let go of all of your preconceived notions of what having a new baby would be like. You can’t learn it all in a book. Period.
All of the cliche parenting sayings you’ve ever heard are true, especially about how fast it goes. Don’t get lost in the weeds.
Take more videos.
Be in more of those videos.
Accept help. Drop your stubborn independence.
Sleep training is overrated.
Let baby sleep on you for a little bit longer.
Don’t worry about what’s “right” or “wrong” because as long as you’re pouring your love into that precious little one, there is no wrong.
Give your partner more space to do things their way. There is no wrong for them either. Let them learn to trust their instincts too.
Let life be slow and messy for a bit. It’s ok.